My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
pray to the hookup gods
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
