we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.