I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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