I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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