Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
