Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
