I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
