I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
