last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
