I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
