I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
