I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
