Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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