evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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