I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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