I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
