i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
