but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
