my phone needs a breathalizer
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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