whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
