Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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