talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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