I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
