why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
