It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
