It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
