who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
