i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
