Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize