Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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