I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
