and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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