it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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