im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
