I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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