in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
