Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
