why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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