Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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