i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
