How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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