Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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