Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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