thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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