drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Text me some of your sweat
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
