It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
