I just pynch a tree in the face
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
