i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
