Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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