Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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