I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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