Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
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What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
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There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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