Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
