my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
