I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I want to have your abortion
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize
