so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
