My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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