he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
